Learning to Say “no”
What does it mean to say “no”?
Saying no means putting yourself first. It means having to take a moment to decide whether whatever is presented in front of you carries greater importance than what you are currently handling in those same moments. Whether you are invited out to a gathering with friends, asked to perform an additional task at work (beyond what you can handle), or reminded of your to-do list of other ambitions, you must make a choice. The choice you make plays a significant role not only in that moment, but in your greater overall wellbeing.
Of course, you can choose to accept the responsibility of heading out with your friends, showing your co-workers you can assume more tasks, and get to cross off another goal from your personal checklist. However, whichever choice you make will come at a cost. The difference is that on the one hand you risk upsetting a friend or taking a day off from personal goals, but on the other end of the spectrum, you may contribute considerable harm to your mental or physical health. So when you make that decision, you have to consider just what exactly you are willing to cost yourself, because the implications are greater than those few seconds.
Benefits of saying no
When you decide to put yourself first, you are setting boundaries. You are deciding to focus on your own needs, feelings, and health. Everyone deserves to have a break, nothing is meant to run forever without breaks, updates, upgrades, or everything in between. Saying no means taking the time to assess what your needs are at the moment and being to cater to yourself before exhausting or depleting whatever reserves you have left. Everyone’s needs are different and yours will vary depending where you are along your journey of life, which is why taking this time is also important to help you keep track of the progress you have made.
The benefits of taking the time to say no to others have greater implications than you may originally perceive. When you are ready and able to begin saying yes again, you will return to your tasks or social life better equipped to present to your best self. Now that you took the time to reassess and rest, you will exercise better discretion with what you may handle and how you may adequately proceed. You will also be able to better manage the stress and even look forward to the challenges that await you, because you set time to release built up stress and anxiety.
Learning to say “no”
Part of learning something new takes time, practice, and patience. Saying no for the first time will feel unusual and you may feel guilty for letting someone down or postponing whatever personal goals you wanted to complete for that day, but you are paying dividends to yourself and your future. And, with other new experiences, they will get easier with time, and you will begin to understand the invaluable importance of taking the time to say “yes” to yourself.
Feel free to begin with smaller tasks until you incrementally build the courage to say no to bigger demands. Once you say no, now take the time to truly think about what you need, part of this means listening to your body. If you are feeling stressed, nervous, or just tired, try engaging in activities that will help alleviate those tensions. Dedicate tailored time to giving your mind, body, and energy exactly what it needs so you may continue where you left off. The activities can change as you practice with time and do not feel afraid to try different things. Some things work better than others such as writing down your thoughts, listening to your favorite music in a favorite scenery, or just watching Netflix.
Whatever it takes for you to rest and recharge, be bold enough to say no and courageous enough to say yes to yourself.
